Don’t lose your temper!

Anger management. Photo: Wikipedia
Anger management. Photo: Wikipedia

Shomiq is a hypothetical celebrity. He is often accosted by fans who insist on taking selfies with him, demand autographs and even make weird remarks.

Then one day Shomiq was in a shopping mall after a long day of shooting for a movie. A passing boy saw him and made a remark. Exhausted after a long day, Shomiq reacted sharply. He grabbed the boy by the collar and punched him in the face. The people who crowded around naturally took snaps and shared them on social media. The scene went viral.

Anyone, not just celebrities, can lose their temper. For instance, a friend waiting for another in an emergency is kept waiting for hours. As soon as the tardy friend shows up, the one waiting may burst out in abuse words or even throw something at him.

Anger is not a psychiatric deviation or an ailment of the nerves. It is a normal human emotion. According to psychology, it is a healthy mind trait in a healthy body.

With a tiny provocation, irritation can turn into anger gradually leading to excessive outburst.

Anger is only unnatural if not managed. That is when someone bursts out excessively or fumes without any reasonable cause. It can take toll on a person’s psychosocial life, or even have legal repercussions.

Physical effects of anger include a rise in blood pressure, palpitations, excessive secretion of adrenaline and non-adrenaline hormones, over activity of limbic system and the autonomic nervous system.

Traffic, environment or misbehaviour of a family member as well as over anxiety, obsession with a past incident, physical reasons or unfulfilled ambitions can trigger anger.

Scientists identify the positive impact of a controlled anger. It plays a vital role to cope with the threats arising in physical and psychological levels in a changed environment. The changed behavioural pattern originated from anger in an adverse situation helps us overcome the adversity.

Different personalities vent anger in different ways-some break tea cups, some shout aloud, some fume without the least warning while some would physically hit out. There are some who remain silent even despite being furious. Genetic, familial and social factors contribute to the different types of articulation of temper.

Family complications and a disturbed conjugal life can contribute to the child being quick tempered.

Instability in the country, political unrest, racism, lack of social justice, and double standards in the management of an organisation -all can cause quick temper.

Public figures like sportspersons, actors, artists, writers or other famous persons, are under constant social stress. Sometimes this stress causes uncontrolled outbursts which harm their career.

They have to be more responsible in communicating their anger. They must remember that ‘popularity’ is not a free pass to indiscriminately vent their anger.

US scientist Charles Spielberger says anger should not be suppressed completely because it can cause mental and physical problems including frustration, hypertension, irritation and the propensity to blame others.

Uncontrolled anger can affect personality. Anger should be expressed in constructive ways, assertive but not aggressive. Demands should not be made in ways that hurt others. Instead, a justified demand can be made politely. Try seeing things from various angles rather than from only a single one-it may bring change to your behavioural pattern. Be calm and be reasonable. It will relieve you from anxiety, hypertension and frustration and bring inner peace.

* Ahmed Helal is an associate professor at the National Institute of Mental Health, Dhaka. The piece, originally published in Prothom Alo print edition, has been rewritten in English by Nusrat Nowrin.