15 May is the International Day of Families.
Initiated by the United Nations in 1993, this day aims to promote awareness on family-related issues and social, economic and demographic processes affecting families.
On the eve of the day, the UN secretary-general Ban Ki-moon in his message stated, "On this International Day of Families, let us resolve to advance sustainable development by creating a supportive environment where all family members of all ages can realise their potential to contribute to our world."
No programme has been chalked out to celebrate the International Day of Families in Bangladesh.
Sociologists have told Prothom Alo that they see a transition in family structure in the country.
Talking to several working parents of upper and middle-income groups, this correspondent found that a large number of grandparents are leaving their village home only to bring up their grandchildren in cities as their parents work outside.
At the same time, working parents, who do not earn much and belong to the class of lower-income group, keep their children in the village home with the grandparents and both work in cities, creating a clear transition in the family structure in Bangladesh.
Earlier elderly people appeared to lack were any tangible function, but their importance is now being felt in urban life, said ASM Atiqur Rahman, a professor of social welfare at Dhaka University.
Children do not get proper attention as the parents are busy with professional work, said Professor Helal Uddin of the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). This creates a lack of bonding in the family. Families with grandparents have that bonding. The children do not lack in interaction and are more humane. It helps the child build a good family in the future. Emotions and feelings are given due importance.
Changes: Grandmother of seven-year old Wasit Jawad feeds him, bathes him and tells him bedtime stories. The 70-year old Mafida Begum from Kalabagan loves to prepare her grandchildren’s favourite foods.
Talking to Prothom Alo, customs official Rukba Iffat said, “My first posting was in Chittagong for four months and my son was very young at the time. Then I was transferred to Dhamrai. I am in Dhaka now. I now have a daughter too. My mother looks after my kids. She comes from Mymensingh to stay with us. She takes my kids to Mymesingh during vacations.”
There is also a different trend. Most of the women working in the readymade garments (RMG) sector keep their children with their grandparents in the village. Musa Mia and wife Brishti Begum both work. Musa drives a van in Narayanganj and Brishti works in an RMG factory. They are not able to keep the family with them in Narayanganj. That is why their three-year old daughter stays with her grandmother in the village.
The institute of sociology at Dhaka University does not have any research on the changing trends of family structure. There is some research on senior citizens and urban life where family issues have been touched upon. According to such research, if staying with the parents is not possible for a working couple, they try to live in the same building or in the same neighborhood for the safety of their children in the city.
The NGO Action Aid has implemented a new project in Gaibandha and Lalmonirhat. They run two day-care centers in Gaibandha and two in Lalmonirhat. These are in the villages only. The difference with other day-care center is the elderly persons and children can stay together in these centers from morning till evening. They meet other elderly persons there as well as they keep an eye on their grandchildren.
Positive or negative: These changes are also taking place in developed countries too where the grandparents are taking on this role.
Pew Research Center conducted a research in 2013 which said, the number of grandchildren staying with their grandparents is on a rise in the United States since 2000. The trend continued till 2012. There is one grandparent for every 10 children at present.
Working couples keep their elder parents with them to tend to the children, said sociologists. However, they neglect the needs to the grandparents at times. The elder people do not have any earning, but they have expenses. They also need nutrition. Most of the elderly people do not want to come to the city leaving the familiar surroundings of home.
It is reassuring that the national policy for older persons in Bangladesh recommends a separate room for elderly parents in the house. Such a policy ensures the security of aging parents.
(The report has been written with the assistance of Prothom Alo Gaibandha and Lalmonirhat correspondent)