How this American family fell in love with Bangladesh

The Bangladesh–India football match began with immense excitement. In the 11th minute, Shekh Morsalin’s goal sent Bangladeshi supporters in the gallery into a frenzy. On television screens, a foreign family was seen cheering loudly for Bangladesh. All seven members of the family were dressed in the style of Bengal Tigers.

The parents and their five children stood out—some wearing red-and-green bandanas, others with the Bangladeshi flag painted on their faces. They appeared several more times on the television broadcast. Curiosity grew about their identity. Later, through Facebook, a page called “Jacob Bhaya” was found, which eventually revealed who they were.

This foreign couple are Jacob Berlin and Joya Berlin, citizens of the United States. However, Bangladesh has now become their true home. Jacob is a counselling psychologist and runs a counselling centre in Gulshan, Dhaka.

The couple has also built a business in Bangladesh named Action-Joy Enterprise Limited. They sell various products made by disadvantaged women in Faridpur to customers in the United States.

To get to know the family better, I visited Jacob’s counselling centre in Gulshan. Joya Berlin arrived first and Jacob joined the conversation shortly afterwards. Jacob wore a black panjabi and gabardine trousers, while Joya wore a salwar kameez. Their attire and fluent Bangla made it easy to forget that I was speaking with a foreign couple.

They told me that the first time they went to a stadium with the whole family was to watch the Bangladesh vs Hong Kong (China) football match. Joya showed photos from that day on her phone. The entire family wore Bangladesh jerseys, while Jacob wore a lungi with the Bangladeshi flag painted on his chest.

I realised that both husband and wife are passionate football fans. They regularly watch the English Premier League and are admirers of Hamza Choudhury. A few months ago, when they learnt that Hamza would be playing for the Bangladesh national team, they began closely following Bangladeshi football as well.

They do not merely live in Bangladesh; they embrace it. All of them speak Bangla fluently, including the children. Joya and Jacob have also affectionately given their children Bangla nicknames: Anondo, Hasi, Khushi, Shukhi and Mishti.

Jacob and Joya’s love for Bangladesh goes back more than a decade. They first came to Bangladesh in 2013 through employment with a development organisation. They lived in Bangladesh continuously for six years.

When the project ended, the couple returned to the United States in 2019. There, they started a business of their own. However, within a month of being back, both began to feel that they could not settle in the United States.

Their hearts remained on the rural paths of Faridpur, thousands of miles away. By then, the covid-19 pandemic had started spreading worldwide, making it difficult to return to Bangladesh abruptly. During the lockdown period, they planned their business operations in Bangladesh from home.

Finally, in 2022, they returned to Bangladesh once again with their family.

Their organisation currently employs 40 permanent staff members. In addition, more than 500 disadvantaged women from various upazilas of Faridpur, many of whom were previously involved in sex work, are associated with the enterprise. Jacob and Joya purchase bags, wallets, cushion covers and other items made and designed by these women and then sell them directly in the United States.

Jacob and Joya first met in 2009 while studying at university. At that time, they had only occasional communication. Later, in 2011, Jacob came to Patuakhali for three months for work. He was deeply impressed by the hospitality of the Bangladeshi people.

Jacob said, “Since childhood, I have enjoyed making friends with people from different countries. I have always been greatly interested in learning about other cultures. I used to dream of working in a country with a completely different culture. After spending three months in Bangladesh, I felt I had found in reality the workplace I had imagined.”

That same year, he returned to the United States and married Joya. Amusingly, a few months after their wedding, Jacob brought his new bride to Bangladesh for their honeymoon. Before that, he had already shared with Joya his desire to live permanently in Bangladesh.

Jacob said, “Joya had no idea what Bangladesh was like. Since we were planning to settle here permanently, she needed to see the country herself. If she did not like it, living in Bangladesh would not be possible.

During that visit, we spent a month travelling around Dhaka, Sirajganj, Rajshahi, Faridpur and Patuakhali. At the time, Bangladesh did not impress Joya very much. I was quite anxious about this. But she loved me so much that she could not turn down my proposal.”

In 2013, after securing employment in Bangladesh, Jacob and Joya started living permanently in Dhaka. However, they did not enjoy the chaos of Dhaka city and Jacob applied for a transfer to a district town.

Both Jacob and Joya explained that one must go to the villages to truly see the real beauty of Bangladesh. In 2014, their wish was fulfilled. Jacob was transferred to Faridpur as a project director. As part of his work, he taught English to local children and young people, while Joya became a full-time homemaker.

Joya had grown up with comfort and affection in the United States. Leaving that lifestyle behind to run a household in a small town in Bangladesh was a significant change. She was only 25 years old at the time. I asked how she adapted to such a different life.

Joya smiled and said, “To be honest, in the beginning I did not like Bangladesh at all. There was the language barrier and many cultural differences. I decided to come only at my husband’s request. But gradually, I fell in love with the people here.

"While living in Faridpur, I had the opportunity to work part-time in a government project. I worked on the mental health of many women from brothel areas. That experience significantly changed my outlook on life.

"Since then, Bangladesh has felt even closer to my heart. I learnt Bangla and Bangladeshi cooking from our neighbours in Faridpur. Now, in our family, Bangladeshi meals are cooked almost every day.”

Currently, they divide their time between Faridpur and Dhaka. Their children attend school in Dhaka. They have adapted wonderfully to life in Bangladesh. Even when they visit their grandparents’ homes in the United States during holidays, their hearts remain in Bangladesh.

Jacob and Joya dream of obtaining Bangladeshi citizenship. If they receive citizenship, they plan to buy a piece of land in Faridpur, build a house there and spend the rest of their lives in that home.