Salman Khan should go on vacation next Eid

Muscle, muscle, more muscle, cheap thrill, forced humour and cringe- Salman Khan’s new release is all about. Before you waste two precious hours of your fleeting life, you should subscribe for a life insurance as the cringe may leave you brain dead by the end of the movie.

The storyline is clichéd and daft, the fight scenes are full of careless mistakes and jarring songs out of the blue are tenth-rate at its best. Acting has never been Salman Khan’s best strength. But he managed to pull off a little bit of the characters in movies like Bajrangi Bhaijaan or Ek Tha Tiger directed by Kabir Khan and Sultan directed by Ali Abbas Zafar, the credit goes to the director and stories indeed. It is an absolute cringe-binge for those who suffer from self-doubt as the movie is an epitome of how badly things can go wrong.

I mean, how could a movie with an inane title 'Kisika Bhai Kisika Jaan' be released? Who chose such a title?

The movie has no plot, no perspective and moreover no logic. Who says, drama and comedy do not need logic?

Farhad Samji, direction being never his area of expertise, or I doubt anything being his expertise for that matter, has completely binned all logic, sense or story in the film. I wish I could say, this is something surreal made by some malfunctioned low-budget AI.

The director should be offered a ride in the next SpaceX to Mars.

Worst of worst, you cannot look beyond the ugly and detestable wig Salman Khan wears throughout the first half. There’s no logic, no sense or added aesthetics, yet Salman is seen flaunting those locks of hair disproportionate to his body build. Whose idea was this? Thank God he got rid of that in the second half.

An adaptation of a 2014 Tamil movie Veeram, the story revolves around an elder brother (Salman Khan) who sacrificed his own happiness to raise his three younger brothers, Luv (Siddharth Nigam), Ishq (Raghav Juyal) and Moh (Jassie Gill), and decided not to marry ever.

This is where Bhagya Lakshmi (Pooja Hegde) appears to the screen. Bhai’s life changes. He entices her with flattery while she is clearly smitten with him. Pooja Hegde with her awful facial expressions and almost zero acting skills made the story more dull and absurd. Her acting skills never quite made her an actress other than a mere flashy heroine, no matter who she was paired with- be it Akshay Kumar, Hrithik Roshan or actors from South- in her previous scores.

Pooja Hegde plays a South Indian girl whose brother despises violence. Daggubati Venkatesh playing Bhagta Lakshmi's non-violent brother did justice to his character. His screen presence will give you some peace amid all the chaos. Speaking of screen presence Raghav Siddarth and Jassie pulls off their characters pretty well and held the ground throughout the film. Despite her huge fandom, Shehnaaz Gill remained unutilized and hardly delivered one sentence.

The saving grace in the entire production is the cinematography by V Manikandan. The background settings for fight scenes and camera angles are praiseworthy.

The movie is packed with Salman’s clichéd one-liners. Some punchlines are too childish for a grown man and of course there are racist jokes that will raise eyebrows for sure.

The fight scenes in Delhi metro will leave you ponder whether you live in La La Land where law and order do not exist. The below average songs come from nowhere and are too loud to enjoy. The peppy score Billi Billi can be a perfect disco song while Himesh Reshamiya’s Naiyo Lagda is quite a stand out. The climax scene where Salman fights with Vijender Singh is a real Goosebumps moment. How many would agree with me that in many Salman Khan movies such as Ready, Body Guard, Ek Tha Tiger or Jai ho, the antagonists are real charmers?

There are too many characters who the director Farhad Samji who is also one of the screenplay writers remained reluctant to flesh out and they apparently made no sense at all.

There are so many clichés in the film that you lose count at a point such as Salman’s shirtless moments, appearing in the screen with actions, wearing jacket midair and his cheesy hook steps which are no longer humorous.

The movie has reportedly earned 1.3 billion rupees as of Thursday and is clearly a box-office hit. The drama, Salman's swag, action and one-liner jokes, some of which on Salman himself, are entertaining for Salman Khan’s diehard fans.

But if you are a movie buff and real admirer of good acting this is perfect hatewatch for you! Salman Khan should be sent on vacation next Eid. Its time he takes some time off for himself. Enough work!