'Dhaka made me Arnob'

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Arnab is immersed in his music and art and he pops up on social media now and then. In an interview with Prothom Alo, he talks about his music, his paintings, his seclusion in Shantiniketan and some old struggles in his life.

Q:

What are you busy with nowadays?

With online concerts. I'll have an online concert on 2 October from Shantiniketan. It will be called 'Hok Kolorob' ('So let there be noise'). Carpe Diem is arranging the concert. They are doing a series of virtual concerts called 'Bari Theke' ('From home') during the coronavirus pandemic. 'Hok Kolorob' is my concert in the series. Tickets will be sold for the concert.

The concert involves a fun contest too. Anyone can submit a creative item relating to the lyrics of 'Hok Kolorob'. This can be a painting, calligraphy, writing, anything. Those with the top three submissions will be able to join the concert virtually.

Q:

Your song 'Hok Kolorob' was is really popular in West Bengal. It is the inspiration of a movement. Is that why it's called 'Hok Kolorob'?

Many people think I wrote the song, but it's actually written by Rajib Ashraf. I composed the music and sang it. I never thought of the song being an inspiration for a movement. It is an innocent song. It raises many questions, like "why blue, not red?" "why 'taal' (music beat) not 'teel' (sesame)? It's like the curious questions of a child. The older we get, the less questions we ask. We become silent, accepting everything with no question. For example, they are planning to relocate all the street dogs from Dhaka. Many people don't question this, but they should. This song may remind people to ask questions. That is why perhaps it became an inspiration in the Jadavpur University movement. But we didn't name the concert after that.

Q:

You've held quite a few online concerts in the meantime. How was it? Do you miss performing live on stage?

That's for sure. Performing live on stage is something else. You get to be near the audience, you enjoy the thrill. Virtual concerts have no live audience. You look at the blank wall and sing. There is no reaction, you can't see the excitement. But we have to have online concerts now, given the time we are going through. One positive factor in online concerts is that you don't get distracted. That's why during live concerts, I sometimes close my eyes and sing. In online concerts, you can just concentrate on the song.

Q:

What do you give more time to during the lockdown -- music or painting?

Both, actually. A couple of years ago I had felt lost, I wasn't being able to create anything new. When I was in Dhaka, I would spend the entire day in the studio, working with machines. I would sing for movies, do ad jingles. I didn't get the chance to do anything for myself. When I came to Shantiniketan, I got the chance to mix with my teachers, my school and college friends. I renewed my old contacts. I got the urge to once again paint and sing for myself. I found myself again.

Q:

Wasn't it a difficult decision to leave so much work in Dhaka and go to Shantiniketan?

No. I felt the need to do so. You need to create a distance to see the entire picture on a wide canvas. And one can do well here too. I am earning enough with my songs for some production companies. I earn enough to live well here too. At the same time, I have at least two hours a day for myself, doing the things I want to. I am painting well here. And when I paint, I get inspired to do new things.

Q:

Your schooling was in Shantiniketan, you went to college and university here too. So did you find it hard it adjust in Dhaka, returning there after 17 years? Is that why you are back in Shantiniketan?

No, no, not at all. It is true that I wrote and composed the music of 70 per cent of my popular songs in Shantiniketan. I processed the songs when I returned to Dhaka. Dhaka made me Arnob. But amidst everyone in Dhaka I was becoming a machine. I had to do a lot of things to survive. I couldn't find myself. I was always in a hurry and the songs were just not coming. That is why I am back in Shantiniketan.

Q:

So will you stay in Shantiniketan then?

No, I now feel the urge to go back to Dhaka. I want to go back to Dhaka and sing there. I realise I have been very lazy the last four or five years. There is a need for balance. So too much seclusion at Shatiniketan won't be good either. I must go back to Bangladesh and proceed with certain goals.

Q:

There was a time when you struggled with drug addiction and then returned to normal life. Tell us about your return.

Between 2001 and 2003 I began to feel that I must break away from this addiction. I was much younger then. I saw people of my age getting into all this and so did I. After I completed my Masters in 2003, I realised by drug addiction was going out of control. My friends and my family stood by my side. I have to mention Anusheh (Anadil) here. She was a huge support to me at that time. She has her own struggle too and was an inspiration. Actually there is no end to the struggle against addiction. It is an ongoing struggle. I have been struggling for 20 years. I am striving to stay well. I have taken held from time to time from my family, friends and professionals. But I don't want to talk too much about this and give the youth a wrong message. I want to inspire them. I was never hesitant or ashamed to speak about my addiction. I have always spoken out in the hope that others can also break away from the dangerous grip of drugs.

This interview appeared in the print and online edition of Alo and has been rewritten for the English edition by Ayesha Kabir