Choose conscious parenting
No matter its approach, the underlying philosophy of parenting is to assure the best for a child. A parent is a nurturer, guide and protector of the child and wishes to see them healthy and successful in life. The child's physical health, mental and emotional well-being, behavioural patterns and development through different stages greatly depends on the parenting.
The challenges faced by the parents, their behaviour, their circumstances, all leave a lasting impact on the child. In fact, adverse childhood experiences, like witnessing abuse or violence, neglect at home, mental health problems, family turmoil or emotional distress takes a toll on a child at a much deeper level than what meets the eye.
There is no sure-shot method of parenting as every parent and child is unique. Instead of choosing between authoritative, permissive, progressive, uninvolved, fear-based or positive parenting styles, conscious parenting is highly recommended which enables one to be more aware as a parent and also be mindful of what is the situation.
Conscious parenting is more about the parent than the child; it isn't about 'fixing' the child but about enabling them to develop and thrive using different methods. Chandni Tugnait, a psychotherapist, coach and the founder-director of Gateway of Healing, shares some tips.
Build Connections
It is essential to build a connection with the child through engagement, listening, spending time together, expressing love, sharing and holding the space for them while fostering empathy, self-control, self-reliance, curiosity and compassion. Listen to all the little things your child shares with focus and love else one day the child won't share the big things.
Be a good role model
Instead of telling the child to do something, show them. Children observe and imitate what they see. If you don't want them to do certain things, don't do them yourself too. The same is applicable when you lay down some rules or concepts for them. Make sure you follow those rules too or have a good reason for why you are excluded. Your child may not always be listening to you, but is always 'watching' you.
Process your emotions
Most people either repress or impulsively express their emotions. It is important for us to process our emotions constructively so as to avoid arguments, fights, yelling, sulking and so on with or around the children.
Offer healthy choices and then let them be
It is important for you to remember that children have infinite resources and motivation at their disposal and hence you shouldn't try to tie them down with your version of reality. Offer them healthy choices and then let them be. This helps in raising self-aware and confident children who aren't constantly looking for approval from others and who have a deeper understanding of their choices and consequences that stem from them.