It could be triggered by something as small as a greying strand of hair, a slowing step or your father straining his eyes to read the newspaper, and suddenly you are left with the terrible realisation that your parents are growing old.
The ever so subtle changes like a new line on the face, the memory slips or them requiring your assistance hit you hard when you were least expecting it. You might try to shrug it off thinking “it's nothing” or “they are fine” but, the denial is followed by quiet acceptance of treality.
Then, it dawns on you how the years have flown by and your parents who you thought would always remain the same are not that invincible self anymore. They now struggle to carry out those simple tasks you have seen them complete a million times without breaking a sweat.
There's a strange tenderness and quiet understanding to this realisation. These are the same people who once had answers to every one of your questions but now ask you questions about how to run a certain app on their phone. And, this leaves you with a sense of panic inside.
However, your parents' growing old is not just a journey of their own but yours as well. With the sudden realisation, panic, guilt and rehearsal of roles it reflects on a shift in how you see relationships, responsibility and life altogether.
With your parents aging there comes the inevitable part of role reversal where you become the one taking care of them. The child-parent dynamic changes as you find yourself in their shoes.
Now you become the one reminding them to take their medicines, making sure they eat healthy or worry when they fall sick. And they in return starts to rely on you ask your opinion before taking decisions. You both find your way into your new roles getting past the sense of disorientation.
For those of you living away from your parents, the realisation of them growing old can leave you with a sense of guilt over how distant you have grown over the time.
Once you are hit with the realisation the guilt of not being present, not being part of their daily life or phone calls cut short takes over you and you are reminded the ugly truth that time spent with them may not be infinite anymore. The next time you visit they would grow a bit older.
Watching your parents age also makes you see them as separate individuals going beyond their identity as parents. You learn to reflect on their lives, their dreams, aspirations, and stories from their youthful days. The idea that they too were young and full of ideas once, fill you with empathy for their unfulfilled dreams, unfinished stories as a human being.
However terrible is the idea of your parents growing old it's still universal and inevitable. Your aging parents hold a mirror in front of you showing the cycle of life. Seeing them grow old forces you to ponder upon your own journey of growing up as well.
Now, all you need is to accept it and learn to be present, to listen and to care for them. Just give them back the same love and support they gave you when you were just learning to live.
Well no one really prepares you for this transformation. With your packed schedule and fast-paced life you forgot time was moving on for everyone including your parents. While you were busy growing up, your parents started growing old unnoticed. However, their growing old is not a tragedy but actually a soft reminder of life’s continuity.