The silent crisis of men

One of my candid ways to learn about the crude realities of men's life is to engage in 'quick chats' with the rickshaw pullers in the streets of Dhaka. For those who never visited Bangladesh, the rickshaw is one of the most affordable and accessible rides in urban Bangladesh's busy and somewhat chaotic streets! The rickshaw pullers are men and act as leverage, especially when I am a curious and novice researcher on masculinities.

'Masculinities' refers to the cultural ways and processes of being a 'man'. Now let's return to stories of male passengers' hard bargain with rickshaw pullers in an attempt to save Taka 20, while they just left a lavish restaurant and paid a bill of a couple of thousand.

One of the perks of becoming a middle-income country is the increasing purchasing capacity of the people, hence frequent trips to upscale restaurants. But these male passengers will not pay an extra 20 taka for a rickshaw ride under any circumstance, even if it means getting physical in public. In worst cases, the rickshaw pullers will be slapped on their faces - an utterly despicable display of 'manliness'.

Let me put myself in one of those rickshaw puller's positions and try to get a deeper insight into the context under consideration. I begin to pedal while the city is still sleeping and get through the rush hours of offices, schools and markets opening. I am barely well-fed and worried about paying the day's rent for the rickshaw while managing to feed my family. I pedal hard when it gets too hot or too cold. Oh, wait! also, when it's raining. Only to get slapped or silently tolerating 'logic' for being paid a low fare. The anger grows in me, bit by bit, and I hold onto it until I get into a fight with another rickshaw puller or, perhaps, a bus driver.

Finally, the dusky evenings remind me to head home; in most cases, this home is a micro-space in an urban slum which lacks basic amenities. I was about to indulge in the best meal of the day while being questioned due to my inability to provide sufficiently for my family. By then, I had had enough encounters with violence and was ready to return the slap to my wife or one of my children. And that's the end of my story. Alternatively, it's just the beginning.

Violence is vicious and often moves in a circular motion - from one person to another. The fundamental reason is simple! A relatively vulnerable socio-economic position is more likely to result in higher prevalence of violence. For example, a rickshaw puller belongs to the 'bottom of the pyramid', barely holding any economic and social advantages. His wife is more vulnerable because of her gender and cultural norms that normalise violence against women.

These male passengers may look powerful, however, many of them probably have had bad days at work; for example, being yelled at, refused jobs and promotions, lower income and higher expenditure, not recognised for their contribution, etc. They are no less vulnerable than these rickshaw pullers in front of more powerful individuals!

We speak about violence explicitly in today's world, but it's primarily associated with women and girls, given women and girls are at the highest receiving end of violence. Our men are typically taught and groomed to be strong and demonstrate machoism, hence, the systemic silence on violence against men. Many men will perceive it as a threat to their masculinity to acknowledge that they experienced violence at some point.

Why can't we be outspoken on violence against men? Do we even acknowledge that it exists? There are too many questions to answer. I will refer to a recent ILO survey on workplace violence for labour migrants. The sample population of the survey was nearly 75,000 people, including men and women. The survey results suggested that in 2021, 22 per cent of men experienced violence and harassment at work compared to 23 per cent of women. Notably, nine per cent of men experienced physical violence, whereas nearly eight per cent of women reported the same.

Regarding psychological violence, 17 per cent of men said such an experience compared to 18 per cent of women. This survey is ground-breaking. It not only included a massive sample population to discover the prevalence of violence but also explicitly suggests the existence of such violence against men.

A plethora of evidence reveals the relatively high prevalence of violence against men. We need to break the systemic silence on this. There's no shame in being outspoken about such experiences. It will not make anyone less of a man, nor does it mean a threat to 'heroism'.

* Ishret Binte Wahid is a PhD candidate at the SOAS University of London. Her PhD research is on male labour migrants and masculinities.