‘I am so sad I couldn’t see Abbu during last few days’

Alauddin Ali with daughter Aleef AlauddinCollected

Abbu (father) breathed his last on 9 August. I was waiting in a car at the gate of Universal Medical College Hospital staring at the hospital signboard. A number of his popular songs were playing inside my head.

I was not allowed to go inside the hospital as I have been suffering from acute kidney problems. Both of my kidneys have almost stopped functioning. I have to go have a kidney transplant soon. Right now, my immunity system is very weak.

Other family members were with Abbu in the ICU. It was killing me thinking that I could not be with him. I was missing my mother who I lost four years ago. It felt like I had become an orphan. I told my husband Kazi Foysal Ahmed that I would see Abbu once when he would be brought out to be bathed.

He was brought outside the hospital at around 8:30pm. I ran to him. He was sleeping in peace. Abbu used to hug me and kiss me every time he saw me. This time he was quiet. There was no smile on his face. I put my hand on his head. So many memories flashed in my mind. Everyone insisted that I return home. I had to return home leaving behind Abbu.

I feel so sad that I did not see my father much during the last few days due our deteriorating health conditions. I hope to see him again. I have so many things to tell him! Be in peace Abbu. I love you so much

I remember his busy work schedule in early 80’s. He was creating one hit song after another at the time. He was a jolly person. Popular artistes and family members used to have late night addas regularly at our place. It was like a picnic. My mother loved cooking.

It was all same in his recording studio, Shruti. Singers used to come to see how Abbu would compose songs. I often go to the studio after school. Abbu used to become very serious during recording. Many of the singers became nervous. Abbu used to pick lines and sang himself to teach them. He knew how to work with the instrumentalists.

Abbu used to stress on the emotions of the song. But he didn’t like overdoing of it.

His mood changed after the recording - always cheerful and fond of addas.

My father's songs have been ingrained in my mind from a very young age. So I can't listen to many of his songs. Those songs remind me of many sweet memories and it is really hard. I got the emotion from my father.

Abbu knew how to love. I cannot hold back my tears while writing this. I got everything I needed in my childhood before asking for it. I remember one day, I had high fever, my father left the recording studio and came home for a while with a big toy for me. I was so happy. He fed me and then went back to work.

My father was totally dedicated to music. He dedicated his whole life to music. That made him the one and only Alauddin Ali. That is why he is so respected and honoured by everyone.

I feel so sad that I did not see my father much during the last few days due our deteriorating health conditions. I hope to see him again. I have so many things to tell him! Be in peace Abbu. I love you so much.

*Aleef Alauddin is a singer and the daughter of Alauddin Ali. This piece, originally published in Prothom Alo print edition, has been rewritten in English by Farjana Liakat