I have tried to groom myself as my father wanted: Ferdausi Rahman

Happy birthday.

Ferdausi Rahman: Thank you.

How do you feel about today?

Ferdausi Rahman: Not everyone lives so long, do they? I should be dead by now! After 80 years of age, I feel every day is a bonus from Allah. What was the average life expectancy in our country? Previously people would grow old by the age of 50 or 60. My father died when he was 59. And I have crossed 69, 79 and now am 84. I have 25 years of life more than my father, right?

So are you enjoying this "bonus life", as you put it?

Ferdausi Rahman: Bonuses are always enjoyable. I spend my days calling upon Allah. Anytime Allah will say, come. Then I will leave.

What does life mean to you?

Ferdausi Rahman: If it is seen as happiness, then is it to be enjoyed. If anyone sees it as a punishment, then it's a punishment. It all depends on how you look at life. If every day is considered beautiful, then it is certainly a celebration. But if someone takes every day as suffering, then it's a punishment. To me, life is a mixture of joy and sorrow. Life has ups and downs. Some have more ups and some lesser downs.

So how has life been? Any regrets?

Ferdausi Rahman: I have no regrets in life. A thousand thanks to Allah. But if Allah gave me this life again, I don't know what I would do. Perhaps I would try to do more for others. Perhaps in building up myself, I have missed out on others. I wouldn't do that again. I don't think I have harmed others. If I have, Allah knows. I have done nothing for the people. I have sung, made some people happy, they prayed for me, that is how I feel.

You have given people joy, happiness, refuge in their loneliness. How many people can do that?

Ferdausi Rahman: If I have done so, that is good. I do feel that I have made people happy unawares. I have also given companionship to those in times of sorrow.

How happy are you to have been born an artiste?

Ferdausi Rahman: I have tried to groom myself as my father wanted. In fact, there was a time when I had no wants of my own. Even now, I feel abba (father) would have been happy if I did this, and so I do it. He would be happy if I did that, and so I do that.  Abba has been a big influence on me and my two brothers. I have been influenced by my mother too. Their likings were given priority. But it is not as if I consciously do what my father likes, it just happens.

Since when?

Ferdausi Rahman: Since I was a child. Abba will be happy if I do this, he will be happy if I do that. I have always done what Abba wanted. Whether that has been good or bad, Allah knows.

What would your father want the most?

Ferdausi Rahman: There was no end to that. He would want us to build ourselves up, to become as ideal humans. To eat timely, study timely and sing. He liked a disciplined life. He instilled that in us. The things he said 60 or 70 years ago, are the same things that a modern man of today says. My father was very advanced in this thinking. So was my mother. They wanted us to have modern thinking. It is not that I have completely succeeded.

There was a time when you were so very busy. Now how do you spend your time?

Ferdausi Rahman: I write. But I am not too well, so I can't give that so much attention. But I make things easy. I listen to music, watch TV. I read. Write. My book is nearing its end.

People think of both life and death. What are your thoughts on death?

Ferdausi Rahman: In my writing I have written about life after death. I have accepted death. It pains me to leave everyone, but reality is that one day we will have to leave. Many are anguished by death. I will die. I have done a lot of good deeds, but haven't done so many good things too. I have not consciously done anything bad. But I feel I could have done more good. It is best to accept the inevitable. I tell Allah, if there are things I haven't done, those things simply escaped me. Now as I read and learn, I think I could have done this or that. But surely Allah knows all.

Had you been given another life, what would you want to be?

Ferdausi Rahman: I would want to be born as the daughter to my father and mother. I am really very happy to be who I am. I am happy with how I spent my life. I am not saying that I have no regrets at all. There are minor regrets, about what I could have done. If I had another chance at life, I would want this father, this mother, these brothers, this family. Perhaps you can see what a satisfied person I am.