‘I didn’t even have money to buy eggs for my 2 children’

Ratna:

Life is always challenging. The habit of 18 years have suddenly changed, living with two minor children is challenging. Mahnoor Kawnain Roop is 9 years old and Afira Kawnain Raya is 2 years and 9 months old. However, the support from the family has kept me strong. But losing the father pains me most.

Ratna:

He is my step cousin. So we were acquainted. I talked with him for some time when I was in class X, and I liked him. The families later knew that and we get married. To me love was like an illusion, what he got somewhere else after all these years.

Ratna:

I had financial hardship in the beginning, and situation remains same. My father had a heart attack, and he passed away on 24 August, a year after my father’s death. My father Rafiqul Islam retired as Senior Warrant Officer of Bangladesh Army in 2008. He built a six-storey building in Savar where I live now.

Ratna:

I did not even have the school admission fee of my children after divorce. Covering their small expenses along with my own was becoming too difficult for my father alone. Their father has never contributed or given anything for their expenses. At the beginning of the divorce process, when my youngest child was only six months old, I was mentally devastated. I didn’t even have enough money to buy an egg for my two children! I was completely penniless and terribly helpless. My father and father-in-law helped me a lot.

Ratna:

After winning both individual and team gold at the 2010 Commonwealth Shooting in Delhi, the then general secretary of the Bangladesh Shooting Federation, Bablu Chacha, gifted me a rifle. I used that rifle to compete in the 2012 London Olympics. But after the separation, I was forced to sell it in December 2023 for Tk 220,000 to cover my children’s school fees and my own expenses. I even had to let go of my rifle for the sake of my children. Now my mother handles everything. My mother and sisters have completely taken responsibility for me and my kids. My sister, Rafia Akter, works as a cash officer at Janata Bank. Another sister, Ayesha Siddika Konka, has completed her BBA and is preparing for jobs. My youngest sister, Amina Siddika Rojoni, is doing her Honors in English at City University. I am the eldest. I don’t have any personal income right now. Of course, I worry a little about my children’s future. Still, I put my trust in Allah.

Ratna:

At that time my father was on a UN mission in Angola. His salary was sent in my aunt’s name. We lived in Magura, while my aunt was in Dhaka. That year was very difficult. Rice used to come from my maternal grandparents’ home. One day the rice at home ran out. At that time it was just the three of us—me, my sibling, and my mother—at home. One night we had to go without food, because there was no rice at home. My mother had no money. She didn’t even have the bus fare to go to my grandparents’ house to bring rice. In my life, I’ve only gone hungry once due to lack of food.

Ratna:

Maybe not. My life is not wrapped in gold. Let me tell you a childhood dream. I usually had just one pair of shoes. My father’s income was low. He was the eldest son in a big family and carried a huge responsibility. He got government rations, and since we studied in government schools, he didn’t have to spend much on our education. But there were years when I had no shoes to wear outside except my one school pair. Sometimes I even wore my school shoes when going out on trips. As a child, I had one dream—that when I grew up, I would earn money and buy lots of shoes.

Ratna:

Yes, it has. You know, when I was four years old, my father was transferred to Khagrachhari. We lived there for two to three years. At that time, we used to go to the neighbor’s house to watch TV. One day, the aunty of that house got annoyed and threw us out. I came home crying. The very next day my father bought a TV. I don’t know how he managed the money, but he brought it just because he saw me cry.

Ratna:

You could say short-tempered. Yes, I am very hot-tempered. But after becoming a mother, I’ve learned to control myself a lot.

Ratna:

Tough on the outside! But I love the shooting family very much. And those I love—no matter what they do to me—if they just come and talk nicely, I forget everything.

Ratna:

I didn’t spend enough time in practice. Since I adapted quickly, practice sessions ended quickly too. Now I feel I should have used the time better. If I had been more dedicated, I could have gone much further.

Ratna:

I do like cricket, but I don’t like the excessive obsession and inequality that surrounds only one sport. The main purpose of sports is to keep the nation healthy, active, and united in brotherhood. Because of the overvaluation of cricketers, they fail to give their best, while other athletes are undervalued. This inequality is what has distanced me from cricket.

Ratna:

“What kind of obstacles do women face in sports?”—this question is very annoying to me. Everyone knows the problems exist, so why aren’t they solved? Asking the same thing over and over is nothing but irritating!

Ratna:

Football! Favorite team: Argentina, favorite player: Messi.

Ratna:

Any Bengali food.

Ratna:

Katy Perry’s Firework.

Ratna:

Charlize Theron’s Tully.

Ratna:

My grandparents’ home in Magura.

Ratna:

I stay up very late, often playing ludo.

Ratna:

Abdullah Hel Baki.

Ratna:

Becoming a mother twice.

Ratna:

Getting married at just 17.

Ratna: If I meet a good person, I’d like to. But right now, my focus is on raising my children properly.

Ratna:

Unstoppable.

Ratna:

My mother. She once told me, even if I conquered the whole world through sports, she wouldn’t be happy because I didn’t achieve anything academically.

Ratna:

Spending time and playing with my children. When they’re around, I feel I can overcome all problems. They’ve made me stronger.

Ratna:

A leader—maybe even a political leader. I like to lead.

Ratna:

When I was in kindergarten, I was abused by my school’s religion teacher. I never told anyone before. Today I told you.

Ratna:

Ratna Abha (Radiance of Jewel). I’ve spread light through hardship, that’s why this name.

Ratna:

Tea.

Ratna:

Rice.

Ratna:

Money. Because with money, you can always buy flowers.

Ratna:

My middle sister.

Ratna:

I stay quiet and drink lots of water.

Ratna:

A villain! Because villains’ roles are usually consistent. And I too don’t change my character.

Ratna:

A bottle of cold water!

Ratna:

I talk a lot. But in a group, I mostly listen.

Ratna:

The ability to understand people’s minds!

Ratna:

Read storybooks.

Ratna:

Shooting.

Ratna:

Basketball.

Ratna:

Hill areas—Khagrachhari.

Ratna:

That I am very simple and down-to-earth.