Property disputes: When brother is accused of violence against sister

“My brother is ruining my life. I have become mentally shattered.” The 44-year-old woman’s voice grew heavy as she spoke these words. Neither of her parents is alive anymore. Her brother is her only immediate family. Yet, over a dispute regarding the ownership of a flat in Uttara of the capital, she has had to file a General Diary (GD) at the police station against her brother. Her allegation is that he is intimidating and threatening.

This experience, where a brother, with whom she shared her childhood, has become a source of insecurity after their parents' death, is not unique to this woman.

Bitter sibling relationships over the division of property, the home left behind by parents, or family rights have left women deprived in some instances, while in others, there are allegations of intimidation and mental torture.

When family violence is mentioned, the image of a wife being abused by her husband usually comes to mind. However, abuse is not confined strictly to marital relationships; women and children can also become victims at the hands of other family members. In particular, some women who find themselves alone after the death of their parents face deprivation, humiliation, intimidation, or the loss of their right to property at the hands of their own brothers.

Prothom Alo spoke with several such women. They shared their bitter experiences of deprivation and abuse at the hands of their brothers. For some, the focus of their complaint is property; for others, it is the altered family dynamic following the death of their parents. One woman also shared her preparations to file a lawsuit following her GD against her brother.

The 44-year-old woman is an entrepreneur actively involved in various social initiatives. Her father was a high-ranking official at a state-owned bank, and her mother was a government schoolteacher. Her father passed away in 2000, and her mother in 2019. Both siblings studied at Rajshahi University. The brother is a senior officer at a private bank branch.

The woman stated that the property left behind by their parents has not yet been divided. Her mother had verbally expressed that the 1,200-square-foot flat she bought in Uttara should be divided equally between the two siblings. The domestic violence began when she asked for her share of that property.

On 18 June, the woman sent her brother a legal notice, citing his behaviour and alleging that he had “stolen” property documents. She alleged that he subsequently intimidated her. Consequently, on 1 July, she went to the Uttara West police station and lodged a GD. Later, on 8 July, her brother sent a reply to the legal notice.

Upon reviewing both legal notices, Prothom Alo observed that both parties have made allegations of reckless behaviour against each other.

In the GD, the woman stated that on the night of 26 June, her brother came to the Uttara residence and asked her to withdraw the legal notice. When she refused, he attempted to assault her, shouted, used abusive language, and threatened her.

The woman further mentioned in the GD that she lives alone in the Uttara residence. Her brother comes there every Thursday and returns to his workplace on Sunday. She alleged that her brother brings various young men to the residence and insists on introducing them to her. When she objects, he behaves rudely. She also suspects him of engaging in unethical activities.

Regarding the allegations, Sub-Inspector (SI) Mohsin Hasan of Uttara West police station told Prothom Alo on 23 August that preliminary inquiries suggest abuse against the sister may have occurred. However, further investigation is required.

SI Mohsin stated that court permission is needed to investigate the GD. An application requesting permission was to be sent from the police station to the Chief Metropolitan Magistrate's Non-GR branch (where non-cognisable criminal case proceedings and records are preserved). However, the application had not been sent as of last Sunday. He mentioned that it would be sent this week.

The woman who lodged the GD told Prothom Alo, “My brother is ruining my life. I’m mentally shattered. Neither of us is married. Most of the time, when brothers abuse their sisters, the brothers' wives are blamed as instigators. Society has a practice of pitting women against women. In reality, if a brother lacks empathy for his own sister, there is no point in blaming others.”

Addressing his sister's allegations, the brother told Prothom Alo on 24 August that the claims against him are baseless. He stated that he has not issued any threats or intimidation. Rather, due to his sister’s misbehaviour, he has not visited the Uttara flat for two months.

Regarding the property, the brother stated that his sister demands an equal share. Their mother had verbally asked for the flat to be divided equally between them, but there are no written instructions. For this reason, he consulted with relatives, who advised him to divide the property according to Sharia law.

On preparing to file a lawsuit, the woman said, “Property is not the main issue here. I want to set an example regarding women's rights. It is unacceptable for a woman to suffer deprivation at the hands of her own family members in this manner.”

Another woman's story began differently. The two siblings grew up within strong family bonds and cared deeply for one another. However, after the elder brother entered business and their parents fell ill, the situation began to shift.

The 45-year-old woman studied at Dhaka University and worked for various development organisations in and outside Dhaka. She currently works as a freelance consultant. Her father was an official at Chittagong Port, where they owned a flat. In Mirpur of the capital, her father inherited ownership of a 600-square-foot flat and a shop built by her grandfather. Before her parents and brother moved to Dhaka in 2020, she lived in that apartment for five years.

The woman related that during those five years, one misfortune after another hit the family. In 2019, her marriage ended in divorce, and when she was transferred outside Dhaka, she moved there with her two children. That same year, her sister-in-law died of heart disease; the couple had no children. In 2022 and 2023, within six months of each other, her father and mother passed away.

During this period, her brother's behaviour deteriorated further, the woman reported. She alleged that he fulfilled no responsibilities towards their parents and mistreated them. The money she sent for her parents during her two years outside Dhaka was not spent on them by her brother.

Furthermore, she alleged that her brother sold a house in Rajshahi for Tk 5.4 million and kept the entire sum. She also received nothing from the sale of the Chattogram flat. She had left 7.5 bhoris of gold under her brother's care in the Dhaka flat, which she never received back either.

Seeing her deprived of all assets, her father expressed his wish to divide the Mirpur flat equally between his son and daughter, a condition the brother accepted at the time. Realising her brother intended to keep the entire proceeds from selling the shop, she purchased the shop herself.

However, one thing puzzles her. Before going abroad in 2024, her brother transferred his share of the flat to his sister via a heba (deed of gift). The woman remarked, “Perhaps he felt some remorse before leaving the country!”

Currently, the woman has rented out the Mirpur flat and lives in a rented apartment near her children's school. She no longer maintains any contact with her brother.

Another woman, a teacher at a renowned school in the capital, is a mother of one. Her husband had a good job, and her family consisted of her parents and an only brother. She contributed financially when her father bought a flat in Dhaka. At that time, she, her husband, and her child were highly valued within the household.

The schoolteacher shared that after her husband died three years ago, her family's attitude changed. As running a household on a single income became difficult, she moved into her parents' and brother's flat with her child. No one treated them well there, with her brother being the most abusive.

When she asserted that she had contributed money toward purchasing the flat and held a right to her father's property, her brother's behaviour became even more extreme, she alleged.

Another woman works for a multinational corporation and lives in Dhaka with her husband and child. Her father's home is outside Dhaka, where he owns substantial property. She explained that they are two sisters and four brothers. When the property was being divided, she protested against being allocated lower-value and smaller portions. This angered her brothers.

She alleged that her brothers went so far as to harass her in their local area. She applied to the Deputy Commissioner seeking redress. She shared that for 10 years, her brothers have not allowed her to enter her paternal home.

Although she has not taken legal action, she and her brothers have repeatedly posted retaliatory updates against one another on Facebook.

Recently, two women reported allegations of violence by their brothers to the non-governmental organisation, Bangladesh Mahila Parishad. One of them, a single mother, lived at her paternal home with her child. Her father had passed away earlier; she alleged that after her mother died, her brother threw her and her child out of the house.

In general discussions on domestic violence, abuse against women at the hands of husbands or in-laws receives the most attention. However, the fact that abuse of women and children by other family members also constitutes domestic violence receives comparatively less discussion.

Based on data compiled from 10 national daily newspapers, several online portals, and its own sources, the non-governmental organisation, Ain o Salish Kendra (ASK), reported 237 instances of domestic violence between January and July of this year. Among these, 135 cases involved the abuse or murder of women and children by husbands or their family members.

In 35 instances, women and children suffered violence at the hands of their own family members, resulting in 30 deaths. Half of those killed were over 30 years of age. A further five women suffered abuse at the hands of their own family members.

Additionally, 67 individuals committed suicide due to domestic violence, 44 of whom were aged between 19 and 30.

Under the Domestic Violence (Prevention and Protection) Act, 2010, the definition of domestic violence is not limited to physical abuse. The law states that if a person in a domestic relationship inflicts physical, mental, or sexual abuse, or economic harm upon any woman or child within the family, it will be considered domestic violence.

Depriving an aggrieved person of the use or possession of property or amenities to which they are entitled by virtue of a domestic relationship, or prohibiting them from exercising their lawful rights, also falls under this law. Offences committed under this law are cognisable, bailable, and compoundable.

If allegations are proven, the court may issue protection orders and compensation orders. Breach of a protection order carries a maximum penalty of six months' imprisonment, a fine of up to Tk 10,000 or both. Repeat offences carry a maximum penalty of two years' imprisonment, a fine of up to Tk 100,000 or both.

Dipti Sikder, Director of Legal Advocacy and Lobbying at Bangladesh Mahila Parishad, told Prothom Alo that incidents such as sexual abuse by fathers or brothers, or the failure to provide maintenance to parents, also occur in some families. These, too, fall under domestic violence.

In her view, boys are often raised as powerful figures within the family and society from a young age. Compared to girls, boys are given better food, better education, and greater opportunities, while girls are taught to accept discrimination.

Social notions such as "even a bent gold ring holds value" send a message to a boy's mind that he is powerful and entitled to a greater share of property. As they grow up, some attempt to maintain that power by depriving their sisters of property and subjecting them to abuse, the lawyer remarked.

Dipti Sikder added that to alter this situation, it is essential to establish equality in inheritance laws, raise boys and girls with equal rights within the family, and build public awareness around achieving equality in every sphere of life.

For the 44-year-old woman, however, the matter is not merely a dispute over the ownership of a flat. By standing up against her brother, she wishes to highlight the question of her rights. For her, the fight is not just for a flat in Uttara; it is to assert that a woman has the right to live safely and with dignity, even among her own kin.