Women belong nowhere!

Who is a woman?

Theoretically, the answer is very simple. The lexicon defines woman as ‘an adult human female.’ But, in reality, hundreds of pages are not enough to define a woman as she encompasses more than a dozen identities in her world of ‘others’.

A woman is a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, and a friend and holds so many other titles. If a woman is a working person, she has the extra duty at office, where she is called ‘madam’. Sometimes, the duties of a woman stretch to the state level. She is a champion in each of the aforementioned social roles. She has to shoulder many duties and responsibilities as a ‘champion’.

Each relation carries huge emotional attachments for a woman. All through her life a woman carries out varioius jobs continuously till the inevitable end.

But despite all that she stands for, nothing can protect her from being abused, raped, gang-raped, and even killed. A woman is violated by her trusted friends, in the neighbourhood where she feels so safe, and even in her workspace. Families are not safe places for women either. There is invariably someone lurking somewhere, trying to exploit her in one way or the other.

The number, frequency and variety of incidents of rape and violence against women which crop up in the newspapers every day, tell the disturbing tale that is the truth. Some of these women are dumped after being raped by strangers. Some are lured on false pretexts and gang-raped by friends, while some are brutally tortured by their ‘dear’ husbands and in-laws, or assaulted by stalkers in the neighbourhood. The list of the assaulters all too often includes almost everybody around her. It seems a woman belongs nowhere and to no one.

If the descriptions of these horrors are frightening, the statistics are even more alarming.

Most recently, in January this year, 74 women were raped while 14 women were sexually harassed by stalkers. Also, 31 women faced domestic violence. Of them, 17 were murdered by their husbands (monthly report of Ain O Salish Kendra-ASK). As per the statistics, nearly four women were either raped or violated each day of the past month.

Other statistics show in the last five years between 2014 and 2018, nearly 4,000 women and children were raped and gang-raped and murdered.

Only in 2018, more than 3,900 women and children were violated in different ways. Of them, 942 were raped and gang-raped in the year. Also, 212 women were tortured for dowry in the past year (reports of Bangladesh Mahila Parishad--BMP). It means more than three women and children were violated each day of 2018. Always the averages outnumber the days of a month or a year.

From old women to minors, none was spared. More than 31 children were raped each month in 2017 (377 in total that year) while at least 444 children were raped in 2018 (ASK report).

The crisis is snowballing. The number of rapes and violence is rising every year. More than 666 women and children were raped in 2014. The number was 840 in 2016 and it rose to 942 in 2018 (BMP report).

There is more. A UN body says 58 per cent of 87,000 women were murdered by their partners and family members globally. In Bangladesh, two thirds of the violence against women was committed by family members (Prothom Alo, 28 November 2018).

A few years ago, Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics (BBS) came up with disturbing findings of research conducted on violence against women. As many as 65 per cent women told the BBS researchers that they were tortured by their husbands.

The statistics are insensible, no doubt. But, where is the solution? Is there any solution at all?

Whenever an incident of violence against woman takes place, we rush forward with all sorts of recommendations and advice and then forget all about it. But, the crisis remains a crisis, ballooning into a large shape in every coming year with no sign of restraint.

Buddah says, “What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.” If you look into the reports on violence against women, you would see those who were violated or raped or gang-raped were neither enemies of anyone nor offensive. They were just victims of our sick ‘desire’ and ‘lust’. The world in the mind of these assailtants are realms of 'ill desire’ and ‘lust’, nourished by their thought-crimes.

The recommendations or the advice or the plea for sterner punishment amounts to zero, until we repair our thinking to redesign a safe world.

This is a country of more than 160 million people where the ratio between men and women is close to 100:100. Both of the groups fight hand in hand whenever any economic, social or political crises emerge. That is why the violence against women is nothing but sheer insanity.

Naturally not everyone is involved in these despicable incidents, but no one can shrug off the failure to prevent the violence against women. The things happen in our periphery. So, collective efforts are imperative to rein in social malevolence.

Today is International Women's Day. It is supposed to be a special day for women. But, there is no guarantee that any women will not be raped, tortured or violated on this day. The day means nothing unless we correct ourselves and reconstruct the world with love and human values.