Those who have finished watching Made in Heaven Season 2, can relate to the trance I am in induced by this glamorous show. I'm referring to not only the intoxicating characters, the performances or the skillful storytelling, but also the subplots in each individual episode circling around the glitz and glory of magnificent weddings harbouring dark tales of a particular branch of the society.
The larger-than-life weddings and the grandeur surpass fiction and make one think of the modernized sparkly wedding events now not uncommon in our very own Dhaka city.
My earliest memory of activities and festivities of a wedding has to be my aunt's. I was too young to soak in anything of meaning, but I remember being fascinated by the blinking lights that draped our building and the abundance of flowers, glitter and ribbons used for decorating everything. Like most nuptials in the 80s and 90s, my aunt's gaye holud, one of the functions leading up to the main one, was hosted on our rooftop.
I remember walking up the stairs and getting a shock upon discovering the usual dull gray concrete space transformed into a bright, colorful arena with lights and flowers everywhere. When I say lights, I don't mean these timid fairy lights that adorn hall rooms at functions now, "biye barir lights' ' then screamed festival. Red, green, yellow strings of light bulbs the size of strawberries, blinking and glowing and as my young mind fondly remembers- dancing. They would form patterns of stars and hearts and flicker and flash in upwards and downwards patterns, drawing attention from miles away. Flowers that dominated then were marigolds, roses and tuberoses.
Gaye holud stages, gates and brides' jewellery meant burning yellow marigolds complimented with blood red roses. Special adornments included- alpona designs- beautiful floral and geometrical patterns in bold colours hand painted on floors, walls and staircases. These stains would then be desperately tried to be gotten rid of once the events would end. No amount of scrubbing would erase them completely, the fading residues would linger for months, years.
These decorations were simple, not-so-sophisticated, but put together with genuine and heartfelt efforts, mostly because there wouldn't be a team of polished professionals known as event planners taking care of business. Event managers then were the uncles and aunts, cousins and friends in the family who would be seen making trips to Katabon and Elephant Road, finding vendors for flowers and labour to set up the venue.
Cards for invitations were mainly seen in shades of red or off white, adorned with golden vines and sometimes a profile of a Bengali bride or a 'palki' sketched on to add character to the invites. No one would think of spending fortunes on invitation cards, however they served more to the cause than they do today. The invitees would hold on to these paper cutouts with details about the date and location of the events as there were no Facebook reminders nor were there cell phones at everyone's disposal for text messages and quick phone calls for easy updates.
I recently visited my friend, Shams, in his office that he has set up to cater to people getting married. An establishment named Paper Boutique that my friend co-founded, started off by making invitation cards. The comparison between the cards they make with ones from the old days are too vast to compose. Cards from what I observed at their office have leaped out of the box (quite literally) of being made of just a thick paper. Cards now come in papers I did not know existed, displaying colours and designs I could not have imagined. From transparent cards on plastic pieces to invitation boxes that hold cards accompanied by chocolates and various pretty little ornaments, they have been continuously impressing clients with such innovations.
While sitting in Shams' office, I noticed in awe a team of extremely skillful people hustling and bustling to put up the most beautiful sets of "dalas" I had ever seen.
Growing up, my most favourite part leading up to the weddings had to be getting together to spread out all the shopping that had been done for the bride or groom depending which side one belonged to, and neatly packing them all up in trays or baskets made of cane, solely sold for this specific purpose. The astounding labour and hard work needed to prepare these dalas which would hold beautifully decorated sweets, betel leaves, pithhas, to be taken as gifts to the groom's house from the bride's or vice versa, were majorly done by the women in the family. Most clothes and accessories that were to be gifted to the bride would be packed in a suitcase that would go along with these dalas. The chief wedding attire would be displayed on such dalas, neatly folded and pleated, embellished with bows and plastic flowers.
Moving to the dalas I witnessed Paper Boutique arranging, one can only be amazed by how far the simple ritual of preparing gifts have come. A group of fourteen to fifteen people work diligently for around a week to bring dreams of the fanciest dalas to reality. Yet again what was a delightfully personal task shared among family and friends has been outsourced to professionals to save time and effort and (definitely not) money. I remember these items were transferred to the bride or grooms' by young cousins and friends with whatever transport would be available in the family. Sometimes there would be access to a relative's MPV car which would mean everything being crammed into that vehicle and making the process a tad easier. When I asked my friend how they deliver their delicately designed pieces, he shared that his clients arrange trucks to receive and move everything that they prepare for them. Yes, trucks, plural.
With the world now having moved on to impressing people with exquisiteness and grandiosity, intimacy and personalized touch to weddings have started to deflate. Time as they say has changed and obviously so have people's choices and taste. However not everyone has the resources or creativity and most importantly time, to arrange and compile everything they visualize for their nuptials. So thankfully for those seeking just that, such talented people are at their service with the best they have. Not only are brides and grooms getting their Pinterest worthy dalas and invitation cards, the growing demand for having unusual and spectacular weddings have given a scope to many event planners. As my friend aptly put- everyone wants to outdo what they have seen at someone else's ceremony, so they at the Paper Boutique are in a constant competition with themselves. Everything materialistic associated with these weddings will eventually cease to exist, the residues will only be beautiful memories. And that remains Paper Boutique's ultimate goal- to help create someone's special memory.
Wedding celebrations may have moved from intimate gatherings at canopied rooftops to week-long programs at resorts and ballrooms, but what has remained unchanged are the endless hours of hardwork and tireless efforts poured in to celebrate two people starting a new life together.